Near Miss

I never discussed this with anyone except Girlie......

Well, a couple of months ago my cina apek company offered me a position in our KL office as assistant to a new lady they hired (lets just call her "Fat Broad" shall we?). Fat Broad's job is to whip our KL office into shape. I guess she would have to be the female version of Captain Bligh to take the job.

The offer was very tempting for me not because I saw it as a good career move, but more because of the abundance of opportunities in KL which will make it easier for me to jump ship should the need arise. Also the freedom of striking it out on my own, and since the company will take care of my accommodation while there and under its employment, well, what the heck, right? WRONG!!!!!

I didn't take the offer, of course, although Fat Broad seemed very likable, personable and funny on first impression. Still, I had my reservations about her and what she would be like as a colleague and superior. And I was right, but more about that later.

The main reason I didn't take the offer was because the company never mentioned anything about my remuneration package should I accept the offer. They just assumed that as long as they take care of my accommodation, that is good enough a fringe benefit. Dream on, guys! Anyway, I didn't bother to broach the subject of remuneration because I knew the company wouldn't be able to afford my asking basic salary, not to mention the allowance that I would be asking for.

Anyway, some other colleagues were stationed in KL for the past few weeks and returned last weekend. They stayed with Fat Broad in the company rented condo. The horror stories they told only strenghten my reservations about working with Fat Broad. From their accounts, Fat Broad is extremely fussy, to the point of suffering from OCD you might say.

Can you believe she actually had rules & regulations hung up in the condo? Yikes! What happens if someone breaks them? Will they be kicked out and forced to spend the night elsewhere? There were also stuff about getting screwed for minute little details. Fat Broad talks behind people's backs so yeah, they had to be on their toes the whole time staying with her at the risk of getting their reputations tarnished.

One funny incident was when a male colleague did his laundry and left them to dry at the condo. The guy in question, then went to spend the weekend with family. When Fat Broad wanted to hang her laundry she found that she had to not only take in his laundry but also his underwear! Of course she made a big deal about it, even to the point of telling all and sundry that she has "never" touched a guy's underwear before. Yeah right, toots!!! At your age you've never touched a guy's underwear? Don't tell us you're some 50 year old virgin :p

It seems that she also makes it a habit of showing up at the office real early like 8.00 am in the morning and wait there for people to let her in. Since she does not carry the office key, the people in our KL office had to go to work just as early, lest they be lambasted for making her wait. If it were up to me, I'll let her wait and endure the sun and rain. It's her business for wanting to go to work early and don't want to carry a key. My office hours does not start until 8.30 am anyway, so she does not have a valid reason to complain.

So, my dear readers, you can understand why I'm breathing a sigh of relief that I didn't take the job. Because if I did and have to face Fat Broad day in and day out in the office AND at home, well, lets just say that one fine day, a woman will "accidentally" take a giant leap from our balcony and it ain't gonna be me!